Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
She announced her abortion via fbk
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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