She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize