no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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