Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I cockslap morals
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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