i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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