As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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