I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I forgot wine drunk hurts
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
