I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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