Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
