The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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