i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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