do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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