Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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