We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
