i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize