So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
