Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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