i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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