If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i already hear my dad disowning me
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
