Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
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He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
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Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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