every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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