I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I want her autograph on my taint
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
