If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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