I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize