you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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