I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
