bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Randomize
