I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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