this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Randomize
