I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
