He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
