did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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