u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
It's rum buckets o'clock
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
