I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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