I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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