shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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