We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I am one with the molecules
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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