TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
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I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
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