dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
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