we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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