Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Randomize
