worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
