I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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