ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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