Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
