I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
