the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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