whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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