I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
