I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
