he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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