Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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