you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize